Trudging along and thinking of goals

The weather here has been unbelievable, as in I can't believe I would ever live in a place this miserable cold. I know, what did I expect moving to Montana? There is a reason only a million people live in the fourth largest state in the union. When Steinbeck wrote that this was the "last best place" (what does that statement even mean?) he had been in Montana for a total of 56 hours and primarily stuck to the Yellowstone area so trust me, it is not an honest assessment since he never bothered to factor in the weather!

 At one point, the temperature gauge on the truck read -35 and the snow pile up, even on the more bearable days, was too much to get outdoor runs in. With the two year mark coming up in March, officially releasing my husband of any obligation of having to pay back the money the company spent to move us here, he can officially look for employment elsewhere! It's really the only thing keeping my spirits up in this winter of misery.

 I am a miserable treadmill runner. The most I managed to force myself to run was five miles. I look at guys running next to me, their mileage at 8, and I am in awe. Even with a t.v in
front of me, I am way too bored to run any further.

 My oldest son joined the swim team last summer and he quickly advanced through the ranks to the team that practices five days a week so it keeps me at the gym at least. I switch my workouts between the bike and the stair stepper when I am not running. I use the machines for leg strengthening exercises but I don't venture out to the rest of the gym with the free weights because it can be rather intimidating. The weight lifters are not the friendliest and really make it known that that is their domain, even if we all are paying the same dang membership, so unless I am with my husband, I avoid that area.

 I need a goal, I definitely work better that way. The trail running schedule is out but a part of me feels like I need to be spending my mental energy towards focusing on NOT being here in a few months and signing up for a race would instead be saying "nope, you will still be here so suck it up!" Yeah, ridiculous. It's been almost two years of learning how to battle the self talk that goes on in my head, a daily struggle to focus on how to make the day pass without crying, getting through the day without thinking about what we would be doing if we were back in Washington. I should just sign up for the training goal and look at it from that perspective only.

 And I should probably cut out the second white chocolate iced  latte I have at home every night. That might be a good goal, too.