Is Strong Really The New Skinny?

 I was on the stair climber yesterday, that mind numbing machine that tries to inspire you to climb higher and faster by putting various buildings and monuments around the world. To beat back the boredom I picked up the equally mind numbing magazine, Shape, because of a certain celebrity on the cover that I was interested in reading about.

  As I flipped past page after page of makeup ads and articles on how to get a certain look, how to get an awesome butt, shoulders that look good in strapless dresses, recipes to help you lose weight, all just to get to a two page article on a celebrity that was really only in there to sell her clothing line of "active wear" and swim suits that look like they are best for laying by the pool and not swimming laps or playing at the water park with your kids (these types of suits made very difficult to find by the way,) the saying "strong is the new skinny" popped into my head.

  Years ago, as a newly married 19 year old, I had subscribed to this magazine, and as I look back I realize "strong" was never a word I aspired to. Nor was the idea of living a life of fitness and good health well into my senior years.

 All I wanted to, all I was programmed to want, was to look good. If this meant eating as little as possible to achieve that then I would do it. Exercise was just to get me that look, just like the magazines promised. Do this exercise and you will have the perfect butt, find out what celebrity X does to have those abs. It was just a bombardment of how females needed to LOOK.

  I started to really reflect on this, to wonder why I grew up needing to "look" a certain way (although like the majority of women I never actually did achieve that look.) In my introspection, I recalled all the fashion magazines that filled my childhood home.

 Gaunt, forever 21 and forever hungry, wearing clothes I would never be able to afford, adorned with makeup I would never have the time to apply, were the females that always stared back at me. Subconsciously these images melded into being, convincing me that this is the ideal female, this is who I should be.

 I never tried very hard to live up to this, don't let me fool you into thinking I became a fashionista that never left the house without perfect hair and makeup! Far from it, I actually did more of the opposite, partly due to my 6 foot frame and the difficulty in finding clothes that comfortably fit and partly due to my bank account that could never maintain that sort of a lifestyle, especially once kids came into the picture, but the bigger reasoning was I never felt like I could become that ideal woman in the magazines.

 It was an ideal too hard to attain. Every picture ever taken of me, I analyzed like a scientist searching through strands of DNA. I quickly ascertained that I was not picture material, so I avoided them all together. I ducked away from cameras pointed in my direction every chance I got.

 Fast forward to life with little boys and I knew that no way, no how, would my boys grow up looking at unrealistic images of women. I was thankful for grocery stores that offered "family friendly" aisles that little people wouldn't be eye level with cleavage and magazines entitled "have eye popping sex tonight!"

  I felt vindicated in my thinking on this subject when my oldest was around six years old, after seeing the cover of a magazine with a woman in a short skirt and plunging neckline, as we stood in line at Barnes and Noble, he asked me "why do ladies sometimes dress like they are naked?" I shrugged and said I wasn't sure, but a few years later we discussed how some ladies think that is what makes them pretty and what they think men want to see, and how movies and magazines teach a lot of girls that their worth is in what they look like.

 I am not naive enough to ignore the fact that males are very visual beings and my boys eyes' aren't ever going to be drawn to cleavage and short skirts with bleached hair and overdone makeup, but I do hope they have been brought up to look for healthy and active, like they have been raised, for their future life partners.

 Reading the book "Natural Born Heroes" really brought home the idea that our bodies, both male and female should be healthy and strong, for good purposes. For survival, for war, for the simple facts of enjoying life to its fullest! There is so much world out there to be explored, trails to be run (or walked) national parks to be explored, even if you aren't an outdoors person, museums and malls with miles of stores and art are there to be enjoyed and walked.

  I don't believe we are doing an adequate enough job of changing the narrative for our young people to strong is, and SHOULD be, the new skinny. I think we're getting closer, with the sudden explosion in spartan races and other types of events like tough mudder, but with as many of those that are gaining in popularity, Kardashian type lifestyles are gaining followers by the millions on instagram. How to get the "thigh gap," overinflated lips, and oddly shaped derrières are still a hot topic in magazines that target young women. Young men are still being bombarded with six pack abs and biceps really not serving any purpose other than to flex in the mirror while posing for a selfie, as the ideal man.

 We need to impress upon our young people that having a healthy body that can get us from point A to point B, should be our goal. Filling our vehicle (our bodies) with foods to adequately fuel us and keep us healthy. Finding role models, both real life and those in the spotlight.

  For my sons, their karate instructor who is almost 80 years old, still strong and nimble and still working at his landscaping job as well as teaching martial arts several times a week, is someone I point them to when we talk about a long life of fitness and health. Michael Phelps, an idol of my son that swims competitively, is an example of a strong, healthy body that is utilitarian, not just chiseled to grace the cover of a magazine.

 For myself, I look to people well into their 70's and even in their 80's, still running marathons and Iron Man races. Even 100 mile ultra runs. Our bodies are amazing works of art, given to us to enjoy life to its fullest, climbing mountains, swimming oceans, biking through countrysides or exploring city streets. They is so much more to living than looking good in a selfie in clothes made for mannequins! The only way to get this message across to our kids is to really get serious about teaching them that strong and healthy, not skinny, is a lifelong endeavor.

 It's definitely the message I wish I had learned long ago.